They say "The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step." I say "Why go a gazillion miles when you can luxuriate on satin pillows all day!" But that's me. Enough wisdom for now - let's get down to business. Here's how you make submissions for my approval:
Step one: Figure out what's missing or lacking in your life
Step two: Decide what actions you will take, or what you will need to obtain to make your life happier! Post it as a comment on this site.
Step three: Let me decide if this action or thing will make you happy or not. I am all knowing! I will post my reply (in my own time frame, thank you).
Once I have ruled, you may go forth unto the world knowing that the decisions I approve of all lead to one thing - perfect happiness.
Here's some examples:
Submission: Oh Casper the Super-Ultra-Wise, should I watch the Oprah Makeover Extravaganza next week, even though I have to sneak out to the break room during work hours to do it?
Reply: Casper knows that Oprah has a golden light that shoots forth from every orifice, and as such, every breath she expels and every utterance she peeps should be sought after and followed! CASPER APPROVES of watching Oprah!Casper also suggests you go out and get a damn Tivo.
Good luck!
Heed my advice!
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3 comments:
Dear Casper:
Your advice is very good. I have brought on my roommate as my secretary. She will be writing my biography for me. My life has been one of turmoil and controversy, but it has all been worth it to get to this point, when I can sit outside and eat fresh basil almost every day. I am truly a happy 2 year old.
I do have a question for you though. I have been molting a lot lately and as a result I have gained back some of my flight feathers and have made a few test flights. Some are exhilarating, some are scary. It makes me happy to be able to fly short distances but I fear what might happen if, in a moment of thoughtlessness, I flew into the path of a dog, or out of my courtyard...even into a window. Should I give up my dream of flight and maintain clipped wings, or should I throw caution to the wind in order to fly the way I was born to?
I will predict your fortune now and do so in my own hand (beak):
I predeect that you, Casper, will hav a life that we birdies call "pelletful". Ur coffers of pellets will alwaise be full. Beware tho the wee karatee childrin. Stay out from undere they feet. A trate of childrin es that they feet is bigger than the rest of thim. They kno not where they step. little doggie beware! Mauricio speeks the trooth!
Mauricio,
I too have a similar problem! I wish that I could roam about unfettered, but alas, the reality is that the lessons to be learned are ultimately much to dangerous for tiny pooch like myself. I'm quite sure that I would get squashed like so many squirrels if I could run off-leash.
Why don't you have your roommate screen in the courtyard? Then you could fly pretty far anyway.
Otherwise, I think you will have to keep your wings clipped. Be happy that you get to live such a life of luxury though, with a roommate who takes care of you and even types for you!
Thanks for the fortune!
Took me time to read the whole article, the article is great but the comments bring more brainstorm ideas, thanks.
- Johnson
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